5 Great Tips to Teach your Child Respect

Photo by Kristy Kell

At Basik Training, my number one goal is to equip you with the tools you need to help your child become kind, respectful, and successful members of society. One major problem in our society is the lack of respect so many individuals have for other people, and more importantly, for authority figures. How did we get here? Who really knows…? But I do know that there is something we can do as caregivers and parents to help our children become respectful, kind and happy individuals.

In this post, I would like to share five easy ways with you to show your little one how and why they should be respectful and kind to others.

1. To teach your children to respect others, you must respect them too.

First and foremost, the best way to teach your child to respect others is to show them that you respect others. How do you speak to – or about other people in front of your child? If your child hears you complaining about other people or talking badly about them, chances are they are going to pick up on that. Think about the things you’re saying under your breath about your husband – are your little ones around to hear that? What about service people? Servers at the restaurant you eat at, or the grocery clerk.

If you want your children to become respectful and kind adults, it is important to model this behavior to them. Teaching your child that you respect others will cause them to respect others as well. Pay attention to the way you are treating other people, especially when you are in front of your children.

2. Teach your child to respond when they are spoken to.

Parenthood is hard enough. You’re trying to manage all of your responsibilities, as well as take care of your little one. It can be super to helpful to teach your child to respond to you so that you know they heard what you said to them. This can be super helpful to you and for the other people that will be caring for them, such as teachers.

When you ask your child to do something, remind them to respond to you. You may want them to respond with “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am”. Or you may be fine with a simple, “okay”. No matter how tired they are or what temperamental mood they may have at the moment, responding to you is not that difficult. If you’re having trouble getting them to do this, take a moment to get on their level and ask them to look at you. Explain to them that they need to respond to you when you ask them to do something so that you know they heard you.

Also, think about when you are out in public. How many times does someone ask them a question and not get an answer? Depending on the development of your little one and their verbal abilities, this really can be seen as rude. It’s not nice to ignore people who are speaking to you. Teach your little one that it is rude to ignore others. A simple response is not a hard thing to do, and it will teach them how to react in social situations.

*As a side note, I’m not suggesting that you force your child to share a deep conversations with everyone. I do believe that your child should be allowed to trust their intuition and not be forced to be overly friendly with others they aren’t comfortable with. Finding the right balance in this situation is important. However, you can always teach them to respond with a short answer or even by saying they don’t want to talk about it.

3. Teach your child to say please and thank you.

Saying please and thank you are the most basic forms of showing that you have good manners. These words convey respect, as well as appreciation, to the person who is giving your child something. Teaching your toddler these words can begin before they ever actually start speaking. Studies have shown that infants as young as seven months old are practicing word formation in their mind before they ever start trying to out loud. So, don’t wait! Start with modeling this behavior to them early on. And when they do begin speaking, practice this with them.

4. Be consistent when you tell your child “No”.

I absolutely know – this can be one of the most difficult things to do. To see your child lose it over something so small, can be very hard! I know it may be just one cookie, and it would be really easy to make your child happy again by letting them have it. But if you give in and let them have the cookie after you already told them no, you teach your child that it is okay to act like a crazy banshee in order to get what they want. The word “no” loses its influence and becomes meaningless.

Unless you are somewhere with your toddler where they truly do need to be quiet, like a church service or funeral, let them pitch their fit and don’t get involved. By not reacting to the tantrum, your child will see that they don’t get what they want when they act that way. Once the fit has died down get on your toddler’s level, take their hands and look into their eyes. Explain to them that when they act that way you don’t hear them. Tell them that their behavior in not acceptable and that sometimes we don’t get everything we want. This is so important for your child to understand! I guarantee you they won’t get it the first time, or probably even the first ten times. But teach them that sometimes we don’t get what we want, and that is okay.

5. Start a gratefulness practice with your child.

Many children today have and endless supply of toys, get to participate in so many different activities, and have no idea how good they have it. This is not their fault. Kids don’t know that life can be any different. Unfortunately though, there are also many children that don’t get these same luxuries. There are children that don’t have any toys and that don’t get to participate in any activities because their parents can’t afford it.

Teaching your child to be grateful for what they do have is the first step to helping them see how fortunate they are. My suggestion for you is to start a gratefulness practice with them. Pick a specific time of the day that you aren’t rushed for time to discuss three things that you are grateful for. This can be a great family activity at dinner time, during bath time, or before bed. Start with sharing the three things that you are grateful for and go around allowing each child to share theirs. Not only will this be beneficial for your children, but it will also be beneficial to you. One of the biggest side effects of gratefulness is happiness.

The 5 Core Areas for Child Development

Hey guys! I thought it was important to break down some of the foundation of where my posts come from. I want to write and share things with you based on my foundational beliefs about toddlers and children.

I chose the name Basik Training originally because I wanted to open a preschool that taught kids the basics of becoming good, wholesome people who were kind to others. My idea was to teach them good manners, to enjoy learning, and to care for themselves. Since I never actually opened a daycare, I want to share my message with you here in this blog.

I have taken the time to break down for you the foundations of helping your toddler develop into an outstanding member for society. We are responsible for our children. As a parent, you are obligated to provide them with everything you can to help them manage their life the best way possible.

The following five areas are the most important to focus on for ages 1-5.

1. Health & Wellness

Becoming a healthy adult starts with childhood. It is your responsibility to provide your child with the skills to be and remain healthy, and it can be fun! You have the ability to teach your little one to enjoy fruits and vegetables and to enjoy going outdoors for fun physical activities. Help your little one out! Provide him or her with healthy meals and snacks. Take them for a short hike and show them how refreshing it is in nature, or turn on some music and have a dance party once a day. By teaching your toddler to enjoy this part of life can help them so much later!

2. Social Skills

If you have a toddler, you know how interesting they can make social gatherings! Show them how to properly interact with strangers. Teach them to trust their intuition, but to be respectful at the same time. Show them how to treat their friends, and help them understand why. You have the obligation to raise emotionally intelligent children who know how to handle themselves in social situations.

3. Ethics & Discipline Tips

In addition to social skills, ethics and values are key! Babies aren’t born knowing that stealing is wrong. They don’t know that lying is a bad thing to do. It is up to you to teach your toddler what is right. It is also up to you to teach them that the world is good, that they are loved, and that we should show other people love.

Sometimes, in order to teach your child right from wrong, you must discipline your children. This is not a bad thing! In fact, teaching them how to behave is very good for them. Always keep in mind though, there is effective discipline and very ineffective discipline. It’s important to know your child well enough to know what style works best for them.

4. Self-Awareness & Mindfulness

Every human being is different. We all love differently, learn differently, and think differently – and that is normal. Knowing how to calm yourself down in a tense situation can be very helpful. Getting to know your toddler and helping them to figure out what works best for them can help them so much! For example, some kids wake up after their nap happy to see you and wanting to cuddle while others are grumpy and need their space. There is nothing wrong with that! Help them out by giving them what they need.

*In addition, I find this category super important because of the amount of technology we have available to us. Although it can be helpful in many ways, it can also be very distracting! Teach your child how important it is to disconnect, and how to focus on what is happening around them. Learning to live in the present can help reduce stress and make everything in life more meaningful.

5. Education & Life Skills

Last but not least, education and life skills are a very important area to train your child in. From birth through age five, your little one is going to change and develop tremendously. You can begin teaching them numbers, letters, and colors as early as you want to. You can also help them learn everyday life skills based on their development. Your toddler is capable of putting his or her toys away, putting their laundry in the dirty clothes hamper, and many other small tasks. Toddlers love having their independence, and you’d be surprised how much they enjoy helping! Give them tasks they are capable of and observe how much it can actually be fun for them!

Basik Training is based off of these five core categories. These are the five most helpful areas to help your child develop skills in that will help them in every stage of their life. I will be sharing many more ideas, tips, and tricks to help you instill these foundational skills into your child.

When your Toddler Won’t Stop

Toddlers are interesting little creatures. They’re always discovering new things and testing out different ways to get your attention. Sometimes that might be bad behavior. Sometimes that might mean hitting something that results in a loud noise over and over, or sitting on the table instead of a chair. They are testing ideas, testing your limits, and learning. Even when your toddler won’t stop that bad behavior your keep telling them to, they are learning. They are also learning what is acceptable and what isn’t. It’s not acceptable behavior to sit on the table, instead they should sit in a chair.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a parent or caretaker tell me, “They just will not listen to me!” This can be one of the most frustrating parts of being responsible for a toddler. There’s a tactic I like to use when this happens that will help him or her learn what they should be doing. When your toddler is doing something they shouldn’t be doing, try this out.

Instead of telling your toddler to stop whatever that thing is that  he/she is doing, tell them what you want them to do instead. For example, if your child keeps sitting somewhere you don’t want them to say, “Come sit on the floor by me.” Or “Please sit on the couch to watch your show.” If your child is hitting something that you do not want to have damaged, give them a drum that they are allowed to beat on. Or give them a task. Ask them to bring you their favorite book and read to them. Provide them with something you want them to do instead of just telling them to stop.

Sometimes a child just wants your attention. You may not be able to give it to them 100% of the day, and that’s okay! Learning to play on their own is very important as well. However, sometimes taking a few moments to read them a book to them, or interact with them and what they’re playing with is all they need.

Once they have responded by trying to do what you’ve asked, it’s important to tell them how happy you are that they obeyed. Tell them you are proud of them. Even a response as simple as “thank you, little guy,” or “good job, Charlie!” can go a long way. It shows them that they did something good, and it gives them a confidence boost.

Instead of getting frustrated and thinking that your child just doesn’t listen, try a different approach. You must keep in mind, this is a little person who has emotions and opinions. It’s your responsibility to teach them what they should and shouldn’t do.